It's useful for parents to understand the difference between punishment and discipline.Punishment is a penalty imposed in retribution for a wrong action. The goal of punishment is often unclear and may have more to do with appeasing a parent's anger than with improving the child.

Sometimes punishment is discipline. Sometimes it's merely retribution. To discipline is to teach. When punishment is used to teach it can be effective. Other times it's just hurtful, an expression of a parent's rage.

Why discipline? To teach self-control. Self-control increases self-worth. Society demands that we behave in certain acceptable ways. When we learn the rules of society we are able to gain love and acceptanceparenting videos. When we see ourselves operating successfully in the world we feel good about who we are. Feeling good about ourselves, we are able to give and receive love. Having learned that we are worthy of receiving society's rewards, we behave in ways that will gain us those rewards.

It takes years to learn self-discipline. Meanwhile, it's up to parents to provide discipline. How best to do that? Here are some pointers:

1. Be reliable. Establish your authority by being infallible. Be certain you can enforce a request if necessary. Don't demonstrate your weakness by making rules you can't enforce or promises you can't or won't keep.
2. Be calm. Respond to bad behavior immediately and expect compliance at the first request. If the child does not comply, enforce your request physically but gently. If you can't enforce it, drop it. Don't nag, threaten or plead.
3. Be consistent. Repeat the same lesson as many times as necessary for the child to accept it. Be patient but persistent.
4. Criticize the act, not the child. A child can change his behavior but not his self.
5. Don't use bribes or threats. This teaches the child to be devious and manipulative. The best reward is your attention and affection. The best punishment is the withholding of same, temporarily.
6. Cooperate with your spouse or other parenting person. Don't let your child split you or borrow your power against the other parent.
7. Be an example. Your child will imitate you, for better or worse.